Back to Sweden, Bitches

Ummm....seriously?
For $60 bucks a night we live in a fucking boat cabin?
God hates Sweden.

Dear Estonia,

I feel our break-up is a little premature.

While I admit that there are many things that have puzzled me about you over the course of our relationship, I'm not sure I'm ready to let go. I will not lie and say I haven't been disturbed, on more than one occasion, by your people's unhealthy obsession with YouTube videos and illegally downloaded British comedies. Nor will I claim to have come to terms with them putting sour cream on everything and ketchup on pasta.

The truth remains, however, that you are dear to my heart Estonia, and it brings a tear to my eye that I should have to leave you. I will miss your $4 vodka cocktails and not being obliged to tip in bars, cafes or cabs. I'll miss black bread and the weird desserts you make out of it. I'll miss the grannies waiting at the tram station and their refusal to act concerned or bothered when the city garbage cans start on fire.

I'm leaving you for another country, Estonia. But don't be fooled, you were the best lover I ever had.

It's all too much

I don't even understand how to keep up the blog anymore. Living is simultaneously boring & outrageous, and while I feel like I don't have anything to write stories about, beautiful things are nevertheless happening.
Today I rolled around in the snow in my birthday suit. Yesterday I got my tooth bejeweled, danced out my wounds at some New Age seminar, plotted my own kidnapping and celebrated Obama's inauguration with my taxi driver. I can't remember as far back to Monday, but I swear my last month in Estonia is nothing but interesting.

Lame

Uh...here's my birthday cake.
Xmas was boring.
My kidneys broke.
I'm in love with 2009.